Facedown in the Nekohanten
by Sunhawk1
Summary: I wrote this a while back, and thought about putting it in a fic later on. Well, it's later, and I still can't fit it in anywhere. Perhaps I stick this in somewhere, perhaps not.


Facedown in the Nekohanten   
  
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any sort of copyright to Ranma 1/2, nor do I have any right to receive any sort of material benefit from my borrowing of ideas from this series. I worship the Goddess Takahashi, and beg her not to strike me with lightning bolts from heaven for my presumption... unless I do a horrible job, in which case I should probably commit seppuku to restore my honor. :P I'm merely attempting to show my supreme worship of, and, let's be perfectly frank, my complete obsession with, anime, and Ranma 1/2 in particular.   
  
Ranma entered the Nekohanten.   
"Aiyah! Airen take Shampoo on date, yes?"   
"No, Shampoo. I'm here to speak with the old ghoul."   
Shampoo frowned.   
"And then Airen show Shampoo good time?"   
"Just tell me where that dried up old mummy is, Shampoo."   
  
"Oww! Whaddya do that for, you old ghoul?"   
"That's enough, son-in-law. You wanted to speak with me?"   
Ranma stiffled his initial response. He was here to deliver his message, not to argue. He sat down.   
"I need to talk with you concerning my future?"   
"So, you will marry Shampoo?"   
"That's what we need to discuss, Elder Cologne."   
Cologne was... startled. His tone was quite cool, and more formal than she'd heard from him before. Something told her this might be difficult. It might be best to respond in kind.   
"Very well, son-in-- Ranma."   
Shampoo was feeling anxious. Something seemed... strange about Ranma. Maybe he would finally take her back to China.   
"I need to say a few things to you. First of all, I have made my decision concerning all the fiances. I love Akane, and I'm going to ask her to marry me."   
"The Tendo girl? You do realize that you are already married to Shampoo."   
"By your laws... and I'm not part of your tribe; MY laws don't recognize your claim in any sense."   
"Nevertheless, where we go, our laws go. You MUST marry Shampoo."   
"You do realize that I will never marry Shampoo; you and your tribe have caused me too much grief over the past year, and, although I don't consider you enemies, I will not honor your wishes."   
"Aiyah!"   
Shampoo jumped up from her seat and whipped out a largish sword from somewhere. "Pervert-girl steal husband! Must remove pervert-girl-obstacle!"   
"Shampoo! Stop!"   
Ranma's voice cut through her like a knife. It was... cold. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. She froze, and turned timidly back towards him.   
"I'm not done. Sit down."   
His voice was calmer, more controlled.   
She sat, feeling rather stunned.   
"Well? What excuses do you wish to give?" Cologne said, a bit annoyed.   
"The next thing is to Shampoo; I do not love you, and have never loved you. If you, or Cologne, or any one from your village or under your request or command kills Akane, or tries to kill her, I will do my very best, whether inside or outside the restrictions of honor, to destroy you and your village."   
His eyes seemed to flare with tightly controled emotion and power, and deep inside one could see the potential for a certain... lethal... madness lurking there.   
Shampoo, shocked, just sat there. Cologne frowned. This was very much unexpected, and unpleasantly so.   
"If you manage to somehow drug or control me, you also choose destruction. Eventually all magic must lapse, and all drugs wear off, as do pressure points, such as the memory-erasing formula."   
"Well, then, you seem to be quite confident of your abilities against me, if you come in here and tell us we can have nothing." Perhaps it would be necessary to cut their losses and kill Ranma and return empty-handed to the village.   
Ranma grinned. It wasn't a very nice grin; it rather resembles the grin you might find on a wolf that has just come across a rabbit with a broken leg... helpless.   
"Nabiki is monitoring this place, and if I die here, she will bring certain evidence to the attention of the government... illegal residence, and murder, are frowned upon here."   
"They would not reach us in China, Ranma."   
She didn't like the way the conversation was going. It seemed that he had thought this out very carefully.   
"In that case, Nabiki is ready to bring the attention of the Chinese government upon your tribe, upon your laws, your wanted status, and your wealth and thoughts of independence. The Chinese government would take any excuse to consolidate their power, and they will most likely put much pressure upon you, and then your tribe will disappear."   
"I don't want that to happen, but I find that I must be both ruthless and cruel to truly win against you. I would rather we be on friendly terms, but I cannot trust you as long as you want me forced into your tribe."   
Cologne sighed. She felt like she should be furious over the threat to the tribe, but she just felt tired. It was very clear that Ranma was quite serious in each statement, including the last. She didn't live for over 300 years by being completely rigid, however. One eventually learns that not every battle can end in total victory; often the best that can be done is a truce. Perhaps, if handled right, Ranma's blood might eventually mix with that of the tribe's, but it seemed that it was a lost cause for Ranma himself.   
Throughout all of this, Shampoo was numb. Wha-wha-what happened? Pervert-girl won? Why? She was much prettier, she was a better cook, she was friendlier, and entirely devoted to Ranma. Why not her? Meanwhile, while her mind was chasing it's own tail, her body just sat there, dazed, her world in shattered shards around her. Her dreams of having Ranma as her husband, of having Ranma's children, vanished. She had lost.   
Cologne grimaced. She had not won, but perhaps she hadn't lost, quite yet.   
"Very well, Ranma. I must admit defeat. I would ask if you would hold no grudge against us, if we were to leave you be?"   
"No. Honestly, I'm not able to hold grudges very long, as long as nobody is seriously hurt."   
"So be it. You have been the greatest challenge I've had in my entire life. It's a pity that I didn't succeed; the tribe would have been vastly strengthed by you. I leave you in peace, Saotome Ranma."   
"I thank you, Elder Cologne."   
His voice was still formal, but in a much warmer way. Perhaps she could try with the next generation, in a couple of decades. Perhaps, with no other engagements, next time will be successful.   
Ranma stood, bowed, and left the restaurant as the sun set, leaving a thoughful elder and a still-shocked young girl behind.   
  
Like? Don't like? I know that the characters are somewhat OOC here; I'm thinking that this might be used in part of one of my ideas-in-progress. The background probably would be Ranma finally getting fed up, and planning out how he will deal with each of the possible issues that Cologne might raise. For this fic, he would have most likely planned the confrontation, probably with the assistance of a friendly Nabiki. He knows that he might or might not be able to defeat Cologne in direct combat, but that she could easily kidnap/kill/threaten Akane or his family to get him to follow her wishes, so he realizes that he must find similar hostages. Ergo, his warnings of reprisals against the village for any overly-harsh actions. Also, in this fic, Cologne is very much a realist. She sees no use in getting angry at Ranma for his threats; he is obviously a danger by himself, and with those he can gather, he could pose a dangerous threat to the village, so, if by being councillatory, she can salvage something (some goodwill, or perhaps a chance at marrying Ranma's kids into the tribe), she will act so. In other words, she knows that, since he is being deadly serious for perhaps the only time in his life, save perhaps for Jusendo, there is nothing to be gained for the tribe by antagonizing him.   
  
The quote of the day:   
"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make them into an ally."   
- Sun Tsu, "The Art of War" (I think)   
  
C&C to deus_ex_mach42@hotmail.com   
www.geocities.com/thesunhawk 


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